Buying alcohol for minors
From Rofflehaus
[edit] Don't
First of all, don't do it. There are several reasons:
- It's illegal. Sure, you might not care, but if you get caught, I'm sure you'll hate the fines and shit.
- You don't want to become the next Gino Pane, do you?
- Little children should have to suffer, just like you did.
- It's really lame to hang out with a bunch of minors.
- The cheap little fucks never tip enough.
[edit] Ok, do
If you insist. Might I point out the disclaimer at this point?
- Get a list of what they want. This can be hard, since little children don't have much experience in the alcohol section, so they might not know what they want.
- Get payment up front. Round up on the prices and add a few bucks for your trouble. The little ingrates will probably try to stiff you on the tip, so just make up some prices. They won't know anyhow.
- For fuck's sake, don't take them into the store with you. They will be stupid and try to hang out with you while you're breaking the law. It'll totally throw the whole damn thing out the window, and alert the store employees that you are obviously buying cheerleader beer for these children.
- Don't buy them Everclear or anything else super strong, no matter how cool they insist on looking. Obviously, if your dumb ass can't handle heavy shit, then these little lightweights with little or no experience can't either. If you buy booze for someone and they kill themself via alcohol poisoning, prepare for a stint in pound-me-in-the-ass prison.
[edit] Example, in theory
Say you bump into a minor you know at a fast food place, lets use Taco John's as an example. If said minor complains about their lack of alcohol and asks you to buy don't say yes. Tell them you will think about it, discuss in specifics what they would want, and ask them to put some cash on the table around the corner. Excuse yourself, grab the cash and go to the store. Get the purchase in a bag and put the change in it as well. (If your giving change) Put the bag on the passanger seat of your vehicle and leave that door unlocked. Go back to TJ's and complain that you can't remember if you locked the passanger door and your worried because there is alcohol on the seat. When you leave call a friend and complain that you forgot to lock the door and someone took your boose.
Now, you could still probably get nailed but at least this would make it harder & give your lawyer something to talk about.
